I'm afraid I've been thinking, a dangerous pastime, I know.

I've learned a lot in my classes. Much of what I've learned is a lot of what politicians and "pastors" are spouting is pretty much plagiarized from the Cold War era. I mean, they aren't even really trying to put a spin on it. Crazy.

My most eye opening class has been African Colonialism. In this class (and the others) Karl Marx keeps coming back up. In historiography, my professor pointed out that we are all Marxists to some degree because our society has been impregnated by the ideas for so long. That was interesting. Something to think about. But it was my Colonialism class that really made me understand how Marx is still relevant today (and not necessarily in a good way). I had to write an essay about cultural hegemony. What does that mean? Cultural hegemony is a Marxist concept that Gramsci elaborate which is that a culturally diverse society can be dominated by a one social class. To accomplish this they manipulate the societal culture (beliefs, perceptions, values) so that this ruling class worldview is imposed as the societal norm. This worldview is held as universally valid (status quo) and beneficial to all of society, even though it only benefits the ruling class in reality. 

It's crazy to me that people claim to not understand what Occupy Wall Street is really about. This cultural hegemony is what it is about. It's not anti-capitalist, it's not class warfare (at least not begun from the bottom up), it's not just some bored loonies. It's rejecting this cultural hegemony. The values of the 1% are not beneficial to all and Occupy is rejecting that hegemony and is calling for balance. Shouldn't we all be?  I don't know about you, but I'm not really excited about the idea of a revolution. But we are walking down this path, just a bit later than Marx would have thought. I hope that we can stop pretending we aren't comprehending the 99% movement and we can strive to bring balance back. Balance of earnings, balance of the greatness that occurs when government and public enterprise work appropriately together. I'm not looking forward to Marx saying, "Told you so."

First days and other happenings.

Chi has been enjoying preschool. He wishes he could go more than two days a week. I like the teachers. The kids are almost all younger than Chi (most of them either just turned three in the summer or right at the beginning of the school year). So, the socializing aspect of preschool isn't taking off like gangbusters, but I'm sure it will be better by mid-year.

Gabe is doing so much better this year. His teacher is a much better match. She is challenging him and he went from saying he didn't like math much last year to saying it is his favorite subject.

I realize these are sideways. I thought they were rotated, but they aren't and now I'm being lazy.

We went to Johnson's Giant Pumpkins again this year. The boys were overjoyed to watch the pumpkin launching. We just went because we needed something to do, but we have plans to take Matt's parents, Grandma White, Mike, Kathy and their kids later this month. Gabe and Chi are so excited to show them everything. I guess the nice thing is that since they change some things each year, we've scoped it out and know where things are located. Streamline the fun - or something like that.

Matt is doing research with a couple of students and he's nervous about getting results that will finally get him grants, but he's trying to just enjoy working on it. School is going well for me, but it's busy. It's a struggle to stay on top of everything. I like it though and had a very encouraging day yesterday.

It needs to be said...

Recently, I signed off my facebook saying I need to take a break. I have mostly had a break from the news, though I do check Al Jazeera English and NPR (you know, places with actual journalists) because sometimes my professors want to discuss how history is relating to current events. I have even wanted to pull back from my church. But why?

I don't really have the answer. But it's just this general sense of apathy and cynicism and even stupidity that I am just too tired to combat anymore. I am tired of watching people believe outright lies and based on those lies, making choices that go against their best interests. And if it was all altruistic, okay, then it's noble to choose against your interests for the interests of another, but I don't think the wealthy elite need that from us. Just saying.

People complain about lack of real leadership. And I agree. President Obama is one of the smartest presidents we have ever had. But that doesn't always help. Jimmy Carter was quite smart and wise to boot, but look how that turned out. We do need real leadership. But it's not just our country. Look at the world right now and show me a great leader. We have a bit of a drought going on right now.

So, obviously, I'm opposed to Republicans. I don't think I've ever hid that. I do think there is a place for conservatives in the larger debate, but I don't respect the party's current tactics or agenda, particularly as it pertains to women. Has the party been hijacked by the extreme right? Sure, but it is on every single person who claims to be a moderate of that party to stand up and do something about it and as long as they don't, it is agreement. Party politics are the loyalty far beyond the country right now. Far beyond. Will the Republicans tear down the country as we know it? Yes. The wealth divide will become greater. There will be less opportunity to move up in the class divide. And we will continue on a boom and bust cycle. Will this spell the end for the US? No. Will we maintain superpower status? Maybe not, but I'm also not sure that is such a bad thing. Countries who take this path, historically fall. But what I need to come to terms with is that I'm a small little person who no one is listening to. I can't control it. I can't even convince friends and family that supporting this new radical Republican party is bad.

I think going back to school for history is contributing. I'm up to my ears in the Cold War, and so very disappointed in our country. Mostly because we have apparently never stood up for democracy anywhere. Our country interests (monetary, authority) have always trumped our founding ideals. And that's just really depressing. Learning about colonialism shows how many of us still view things through the colonial lens, and yes, are racist without realizing. Things like "Well, it's great the Egyptians had a nonviolent revolution, but can they really manage their own affairs?" and the same comments about every other country, particularly African involved in the Arab Spring, is inherently racist. It was an idea planted by the colonial system to make it sound as if the natives, savages, needed our "civilizing" influence. It's sad that people still live with these notions. Though this undercurrent of racism is not anything new in the US. No matter the protests to the contrary, the vitriolic reaction about Obama's policy have much more to do with the man's race than anything. Where was the Tea Party outrage on government spending and overreach during Bush's years? It didn't come until now even though Bush spent like crazy and grew government much more. No President has before been disrespected in a joint session of Congress and no President has been denied the opportunity to speak to Congress. Ever. Until a black man was president. If you think race has nothing to do with it, then I'd like to move to your land of unicorns and candy coated streets. Join reality please. If people don't, then for sure nothing can be done about it.

Yes, these issues come to the forefront of my mind as I learn about history in greater detail. I think it is important to study history, but I have to figure out how to balance my disappointment with my desire to understand.

I don't know. Maybe it will help to get things off my chest this way.
-A flat tax is not fair. Think about who proposes this. It only ever comes from the wealthy. Question the motivation! Flat tax puts a heavier tax burden on those that can least afford it including the the teenager working in an ice cream shop to save for college. They claim it is fair. Really? Do you truly believe it is fair to tax the teenager, or the single mom just scraping by, at the same rate as the multi-billionaire? Don't try to rationalize. Be honest.

-Women have the moral capacity to judge for themselves what to do about their own reproductive health, including if and when to reproduce. No man can walk a mile in her shoes. Men have a history of walking out on women and their children, so why do they get a vote on it anyway? All rules, laws, etc. are not designed to help women in anyway or save unborn babies. It is a tool in the belt of subjugation. It needs to stop. Republicans left language in their budget that redefined rape, even after promising to take it out. If a man gets a woman drunk or drugs her, it is not "forcible rape" and she would be denied her right to abortion. Is that fair? It is definitely sick. The mind of those who could create this law are sick.

-Businesses would be healthier if we could trust them. Instead of trying to screw us out of money with the fine print, maybe they could just try providing great service so that we voluntarily give them money. Crazy idea, I know. I'm tired of being cynical every time I have to deal with a business or bank, but it's their fault this mistrust exists. I think it's time for them to fix it. But they beat the drum of deregulation in the name of free market. They don't want a free market! They have lobbied for a stacked deck. In a free market they would be required to provide good service or product. Don't be fooled.

-It depresses me that people have so little respect for higher education. Most people don't use Matt's title. He doesn't care, but I do. He worked hard to earn that title. My not using it, shows a lack of respect. People act like it's no big deal that I am trying to balance grad school with everything else. I always had some sense that grad school was difficult and time consuming. People act like I just told them I'm taking a workshop down at the Y. Come on. 

-Tying into that, is a lack of respect for those who dedicate their lives to becoming an expert on a topic. Look at how readily they are dismissed by our punditry. Yes, punditry, that scientist does know more than you about climate change. It would be nice if the American public would take their heads out of the sand and learn from those who know more. Everyone has a more narrow view than actual reality. My classes right now are proving that.

-Don't freaking tell me to support the troops. You know what? I don't anymore. I don't support these pointless wars we are waging and a little conscientious objecting is in order. I get that troops have to follow orders for it to work, but they also are mandated to have a moral compass about what is going on. I support the general concept of what those in the military do, and know that much of it is necessary. But I don't support your choice to leave your family and go get killed to take a ridge that we have no intention of maintaining, that we are just saying hey, we are here. It's bullshit and it needs to stop. We are only there for money at this point and I don't find that a worthwhile thing to send men and women to die for, so no, I don't support that.

-Go get to know your neighbor! Have you seen the commercials for background checking every stranger you meet? Ridiculous! What's the deal with our crazy paranoia? Most people are just fine. Try getting to know people. That's the best way to combat crime and build relationships that strengthen communities. Stop constructing stockades (aka privacy fences), ignoring your neighbors, and being rude to passersby. It is acceptable to be polite and friendly.

Michigan is the land of the apathetic. It is also isolationist. They somehow think they know better than anyone how to run this. Really, when does one have to finally face all evidence to the contrary? I don't know. But we feel it even at our church. Almost every Sunday I find it pointless to go. I don't know how to fix that either.


I hope that by getting this stuff off my chest, I will be better able to shrug it all off and focus on the good. There is much good in my life right now, but I don't always feel it on a daily basis. I am easily distracted by shallowness of thought and action of those around me. I don't want to live that way. I want to live in a world where I can see good and be motivated by good.

 

Rainy days and Mondays...

Perhaps it's the rain, perhaps it's the day, but I'm really down. The kids are home from school and although they are playing nicely at the moment, it won't last. Every 15 minutes or so they blow up at each other. I'm torn between wanting to play with them (which doesn't prevent the blow-ups, by the way) or just to try to get some work done (which is hard when they scream every so often). Ugh.

I'm just astounded by Gabe's utter lack of respect for people lately and I don't know where this comes from, but it's getting worse. I am also frustrated that he is teaching his brother all of his bad behavior. Why does no one mention that it is so much easier to have only one child? People make it sound like it is not that much more difficult to have multiple, but is a bunch of BS. Or maybe it is fine if your children get along? But there is no possibility of that. It makes me sad, but I can't change it. I've tried. 

Well, something on a happier note. Chi's mispronunciations are getting fewer, but he still has some great ones. In Star Wars, Count Doku, is Dount Kookoo. He eats koc-late kips instead of chocolate chips. He drinks goose (juice).

It looks like we will have a couple of Jedi's for Halloween, but Chi may decide on being Darth Maul which always must be said in a dramatic, low voice, Daaarth Maaauuul!

We Ride!

Finally, Gabe rides a bike. He resisted all summer, and we only got him to try a couple times. Although he protested, we made him try again tonight and success! 

He finally got going and really felt the joy of riding.

That was all he needed. He got his friend to ride with him. And he didn't want to come in when it was bedtime. They have made plans to ride tomorrow morning. :)

Of course, Chi wanted in on the action.

Here's what's happening...

Well, there is basically nothing going on in our lives other than the patio project. It's great that we got a ton of bricks for free, but it limits exactly what we can do. And digging takes forever. Ugh. I don't even really want to talk about it at this point. When it's done, I'll post the play by play at Domesticated Nomad. 

Oh, I guess I'm lying. I am officially going to grad school -- next week, gulp! All registered, and hopefully not biting off more than I can chew. I hope to complete my masters in history within the next two years. Things are falling into place. I've lined up babysitting for Chi (at no cost! Trading some sitting time with a friend), and we seem to be ready to go. I need to buy my books still.

Gabe's train table functions. All wired and running now. No decoration yet, but I think I mentioned that all we've been doing right now is the patio. Gabe's been thrilled that it runs, as you can imagine.

Malachi keeps leaving things in weird places. One day I opened the fridge and found:

Darth Vadar. Just hanging out in the butter tray.

And here's the goofballs gulping water in the shower.

Squalberries, Blananas, and Playing Church

Yesterday Chi had me sit on the deck facing him, and he stood with his hands like a book and then mumbled something and said, "You say Amen now." Okay. "Amen," I dutifully replied. More mumbling, but then I swear I heard something about the Republic of Naboo in there. "Say Amen." "Amen," I replied. "Okay. Good job, Mommy. Your turn!" Only I didn't really know what I was supposed to say. He told me to tell a story, so I started telling Noah and the Ark. He was satisfied, but apparently I wasn't asking him to say Amen enough. He kept interrupting to say Amen. What? Are we Baptists now? :)

Today for lunch he wanted to be sure he got enough strawberries and bananas. "Can I have more squalberries and blananas?" Awesome. Some words are just more enjoyable when they are mispronounced by a three year old.