Becoming one of "those" parents

Someday Gabe will forgive us. I hope someday he may even thank us. But we are becoming "those" parents. You know, the ones who are forever ostracized because they rock the boat. Who won't just sit down, say "our school is the best ever!" and otherwise shut up, and who give generously. You see Matt and I have this crazy notion that schools should be in the business of educating. Crazy, I know. As much as I strongly believe in arts, foreign language and gym classes for all students, I also want my child to actually learn the basics. While some schools in our nation are fighting for an art class, we have to fight for a math class.

Alright, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. Let's start with math because I brought it up. Math has been ridiculously easy for Gabe so he's bored. He told me math wasn't any fun. So, I talked to his teacher. Now he is in an "advanced group." But all that has amounted to is that they go and do the worksheet faster than the rest of the group and then read a book. Now, they did a lot on patterns. That's fine. Patterns are important, but instead of going to read, why couldn't the teacher extend the learning? Why not look for number patterns, or patterns in the world? Or at least play a math game. So far, this has not improved. We have begun to teach math facts at home. Schools seem to have gone away from memorization and we think it's important, so that's one thing we are now teaching at home.

He was never tested on his reading level and was started significantly lower than his level. We have gone back and forth and all around on this. You see, they read Accelerated Reader books and take comprehension tests. Okay. fine. But the teacher has set a goal of 100 AR books. If a student achieves this goal she takes the student out to lunch and buys them a book. So, if you are reading this, you likely know Gabe. How well do you think he'd take it if I just said, no, you aren't going to reach that goal? It's not that he can't read 100 books, he just can't read 100 chapter books before the end of the school year. That means that he has to read far below his level to reach the goal. Now, the only time in class that they are getting to practice reading on their reading level is with the AR books. Are you seeing the problem? Quantity over quality, apparently. So, now he's being actively held back, but there is nothing I can do about that without taking away the chance of the lunch with his teacher. So, now I have to get him through the easy books and then challenge him with harder books myself. That's okay, but now I'm up to two things I have to do completely at home.

Rather than having spelling and grammar instruction, it will just be modeled for them during reading and writing time. Eventually they will pick it up. New levels of ridiculousness courtesy of our public schools. Three things I have to teach at home.

(Interestingly, Gabe doesn't mind the extra math work at home, but he's mad about the spelling tests. I need to come up with a good reward for those. Any ideas?)
About the only thing that seems to be going well is science.

They also do lots of cheesy projects that don't have much educational value, but I guess I am okay with that too. I don't think that they shouldn't have any fun. I just think the focus should be on fun because they are learning. And learning while being engaged in meaningful work rather than busy work.

So we've tried talking to the teacher, who is now hurt that we don't trust her. To that I was just a bit dumbfounded. She has only given lip service to the issues. She has a bright, inquisitive kid who has a great thirst for knowledge. That should be a blessing to her, but I constantly feel like she treats it as a large burden. We will be talking again. But we are also meeting with the principal next week. I wish I was able to have more faith in this working out, but I don't.

So, in the meantime we become "those" parents. Who will forever more be labeled as difficult, and that label will follow us the rest of the way through this elementary school. Gabe will be unfairly judged by it, but that is what happens. I know it's a fight I won't win, but I guess when it's a fight worth fighting, winning isn't what's important. Not giving in is what's important. So, in the meantime, you can find us over here in Crazyland, where we expect more than just advancement through the grades, but actual education. I know, I know. Still wasting our time with that critical thinking nonsense...