Christmas

Gabe was the Star in the church Christmas program. When he was trying to decide what to dress up as (because the young kids just sang and were angels, animals, or the star) he said to me, "You know, Mom, the star is an important element in the story."

The mic where the older kids delivered their lines was in front of Gabe, so throughout the program, he kept popping up and around so he'd be visible. It was hilarious and cute.

Christmas morning was good. Chi did not really get the concept o

f opening gift after gift. He wanted to just play with the first thing he opened. Gabe had to help him get his presents open. Gabe has pretty much been over the moon about all his presents, both today and

last weekend. I couldn't even say what is the favorite because right now he's been spending equal time on his gifts. Who wouldn't with remote control toys, Star Wars, marble run, Legos... Chi is enjoying all the presents, but it's funny because he doesn't really know what is going on.

This is the Polar Express

We have been having a good time getting ready for the holidays without going overboard. This week has been busy, but not crazy. It's good. It is how we think it should be.

Gabe has wanted a Polar Express train for several years now and this year he started saving his money so he could get one. Matt and I agreed that we would pay for half of it. Last year it cost $60, so we told him he had to save $30, and he did it. So we got. Unfortunately it

was more expensive this year, but he did such a good job that we got it anyway. He has loved it. It's Lionel, so it's very detailed and looks just like the movie, it even has Tom Hanks' voice saying "All aboard!" He's over the moon.

We have not had crazy amounts of snow, but we had enough for one snow day. So we built our first every big snowman. He is sitting in our yard in front of our picture window, so we can look at him and he can look at us.

Headlines don't sell pape's, newsies sell pape's.

The joyful sounds of Christmas

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse SOAP and sleigh." That's how Gabe sings it. I tried to tell him it was an open sleigh and he told me that I was making no sense at all. I told him to sing it how he wanted.

We are practicing lots of singing around here. Gabe has a Christmas program for school and he is now singing in the church choir and will have the church Christmas program as well. It is amazing how quickly kids can learn songs.

It's December.

Thanksgiving was nice. We went to Matt's parents and then visited the grandparents as well. It was good to see everyone. Nice and relaxed. We went downtown Ft. Wayne for the night that they were lighting the Christmas lights. We did not make it into the Christmas village display because the line was so long, but the animated windows at the Embassy were neat and the lights were pretty. The kids also got to see Santa and Mrs. Claus.

We have decorated. We used our small tree and placed it up on a table which is limiting how much damage Chi can do. He is having trouble understanding look but don't touch. But both boys are getting into the holiday baking with me which is fun.

Right now the semester is winding down. Matt is feeling pretty good about things. I've got a test this week, a paper due next week, and then my final. Gabe is learning a Christmas program for school and for church. We have plenty going on, but I am not feeling harried. I am trying my best to keep the holiday season enjoyable and not rushed feeling or overly busy feeling.

Halloween

For Halloween Gabe was Darth Vader and Chi was a monkey. Gabe had a classroom party, and then we also went down to Mike and Kathy's for a party and Trick or Treating.
Here is Gabe at his party with another Vader (the other boy is the tallest in class and Gabe is one of the shortest).Here are some from the party and Trick or Treating:

Just another Thursday

Well, Halloween is finally almost here! So says Gabe. Me, I'm excited because Gabe doesn't like nuts, so I'm looking forward to all the Snickers that are coming my way. (For the bargain price of $30. It's not really free if you take into account the money you put into a costume.) Oh, well. It's fun. I'll post pictures of the boys dressed up soon. Gabe is going to be Darth Vader and Malachi is going to be a monkey. Gabe has is class party tomorrow morning and then we will go to Mike and Kathy's Halloween party on Saturday. They should have fun.

Class is going well. I got an A on my first test. That felt great. Although our paper is a reasonably fun project, it's a lot of writing. We have to watch the movie "Catch Me if You Can," and write a case formulation and diagnose the main character who is played by Leonardo DiCaprio. At least he's nice to look at, since I've had to watch it many times already.

The family is all doing well. Not much to report on. Chi definitely grew some, but I think he's still growing. He is a bit tired lately.

Catapults and Ca-chow!

Greetings. We've been keeping busy this October. It's funny, at the beginning of the month I made the comment that October is always so long, but then the rest of the year flies by. Spoke too soon.

We have had a bit of bad luck with weather on the weekends, but we have persevered. Last Friday, every one had the afternoon free, but it was a cold, rainy day so we went to Bronner's Christmas World. It was, of course, a bit cheesy, but fantastic too. They really focus on the ornaments and they have one for everything. We found flamingos, vegetables, including garlic, every character under the sun, including Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was hard to not feel like Christmas was just around the corner when you are in that store.

On Sunday, the weather was slightly improved, so we braved the chill and went to Johnson's Giant Pumpkins. They had horse rides (only $3! If you don't pay for kid's activities nowadays, let me tell you, that is a bargain.) and all sorts of activities. Malachi is fond of the goats. He just kept feeding them and petting them and in general hanging out with the goats. So, then we went and watched them launch a 80 lb. pumpkin from a giant trebuchet. All were duly impressed. The boys picked out their pumpkins (just regular size ones, but they really had giant ones for sale too) and we got a giant bag of fresh kettle corn, and took our frozen ears home.

Malachi is attempting more words. His current favorite, is from the movie Cars. Every time he see Lightening McQueen, Chi says, "Ca-chow!" It's funny. He even grabbed Gabe when he wore a Cars shirt and held him down, pointed and said, "ca-chow!" until we made him let Gabe go.

Gabe

The other day Gabe was talking to me about what he will name his dog when he gets one. Finally he settled on Thomas, but then he asked me if I wanted to name the dog Thomas like the famous inventor (he means Edison) or Thomas like the train. I said I wasn't sure I wanted to name it Thomas at all because what if it was a girl. He said no, you have two choices, Thomas like the real one or Thomas like the inventor. Oh, he cracks me up.

Adulthood

So, the question is often posed: when did you know you were an adult? Answer: today. Today I realized that when you are an adult you are often confused, but you also realize that there is very little you can do to eliminate or ignore confusion, you just live with it. The only thing I know for sure is that I don't know.

Basically we have to make grand life decisions. We don't love Midland. It's just a town. It's not bad, but it's nothing to be excited about. There are some good things though, like Gabe likes his school, there are activities for kids (if you have money, luckily we have enough for some options), and we figure over the course of the year we will start to meet people which always makes a place feel better. That being said, neither of us can imagine wanting to stay in Midland long term.

We have now visited Frankenmuth twice and we like it. But it's a small town, albeit cool, which may have fewer offerings. We are still trying to sort all that out. The thing Frankenmuth has over Midland, is that it is interesting. Just walking down the street is entertaining. Also, the parks are cleaner (the whole town is neat as a pin). We have no way to know with absolute certainty whether or not we would want to live there longer than a few years, but we think it's more likely than Midland. But do we move down there, only to move yet again soon, or do we think it will last longer. The other consideration is that the only nearby art therapist I can find is down near Flint, and if I was to do my clinicals with her, Frankemuth would make for a shorter commute.

Also, we know some of our problem with Midland is that we don't like our house and landlord that much. Would it be better if we had our own place? I think it would be, but I still have trouble envisioning life here long term. We did see our dream starter home today, but it's so darn cute it won't stay on the market long and we don't have enough for a down payment right now. We really need to wait until the summer.

We don't know how to decide, and we kind of wish we didn't have to, but eventually, a decision will have to be made. At least we have some time, but answering these questions isn't likely to get any easier. If anything, the more time Gabe spends in school and we spend in church, the harder it will be to decide what is really best for all of us.

Summary: adulthood equals confusion. Grr.

Chi

Malachi is enjoying the use of a new word. He uses it liberally. The word is: Mine!

Oh, the joy. So happy to be entering the terrible twos (January, just around the corner).

Today he attempted to play with a boy at the playground. He pushed him and then clapped. Oh, joy...

(Actually, it's all kind of amusing. Annoying, yes, but amusing too.)

Life and times

I have been absolutely terrible lately about updates. My apologies. We have been quite busy trying to get settled into our new routines. Gabe seems to be enjoying Kindergarten. He misses his old friends, but he is making new ones -- mostly girls so far. ;) Matt is overall enjoying teaching, but he's still a little hyped up. One of these days he'll settle down, I hope. He's beginning to get a reputation as the bad joke professor since he is starting his 112 class with a joke each meeting. He'll tell you that they are not bad because people laugh. I don't love my class per se, but the subject is interesting. I'm finding that it's a bit stressful to carve out time to study since I don't spend much of my time away from the house, I have to make a more concerted effort to get it done. Chi is just going with the flow.

My parents were here for a visit which was nice. We did a few things in the area, they took a day to go up to the north side of the bay and we capped the week off with Oktoberfest in Frankenmuth. Good beer and music. Gabe got a real Bavarian hat and he looks so great in it. The boys enjoyed playing on the inflatables. They had them all to themselves for quite awhile which was nice for them.

We still haven't picked a church. It's annoying because there are things we like and don't like and all of which are important to us, so it has become a matter of sorting through what we feel is the most important. But it's a factor in life that is making us feel a bit unsettled, so I hope we soon have a church.

I will leave you with my favorite of the jokes Matt has told so far.
What is E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs!

School

I am enrolled in one class right now. I am hoping to go to grad school next fall, but I need a couple classes first. I am planning to get a masters in art therapy. So, right now I am taking Abnormal Psych. The book is interesting. The class wasn't so much. I hope that improves over time.

Matt has taught each of his classes at least twice now. I think he is settling down. He seems happier now.

Gabe went in for his assessment with his teacher. He got to meet Mrs. Price and look at the room and the school. Mrs. Price just had him show her what he knew basically. I didn't say anything beforehand. When Gabe was done, she said "wow." I will say that socially he is definitely a kindergartner, but he is a bit advanced for where they are planning to start. She said she is prepared to work with kids being at all different levels. I just hope Gabe doesn't get bored, and then get into mischief.

Silly boy

Chi is so funny. He makes this "Oh" face just to make us laugh. He will do something surprising like roll off a cushion and make the face. It's very cute. And his newest thing is to pretend to be asleep. He lays down and makes this raspy fake snore sound. (It doesn't sound realistic at all!) He will do it on command and tonight he decided to lay down in the tub and fake sleep after the water had drained out. Of course we are encouraging his antics by laughing all the time.

Bloody nose and banged shins

Boys are wild. Nothing in my two, when they are together, is at all demure or restrained. This leads to lots of breath holding and cringing on my part as I witness many near misses and some minor collisions. But last night, they were taking turns hiding in the curtains and screaming, and not seeing each other, both charged forward and Gabe's rock hard forehead smashed into Malachi's nose. Chi was crying and carrying on. We weren't sure at first because the blood was slow in showing itself, but then we understood the crying was much more than hurt pride and fear. Oh, he was so upset. It is hard because there is so little you can do for a bloody nose.

Earlier in the day, Gabe ran to shut off the tv and accidentally skidded on the wood floor (only socks on his feet) and smashed into the tv stand. He was in pain, and we were a bit concerned about his knee, but after some ice and rest, he was okay.

And today, neither is any worse for wear. You'd never know that both had to have ice packs yesterday by looking. I do not like that this is never going to end. My white hair is showing. I'd better go get some hair color.

Get down

Malachi can now say "get down" with relative consistency. We are still trying to convince him that he doesn't need to drive home the point by throwing his food too, but we are getting there. He also yells "get down" if he no longer wants to be in the car seat, but we can't help him there.

Gabe and Chi are now back in the same room. Chi hasn't been sleeping at night and Gabe keeps waking up and needing us too. Finally Gabe just asked if Chi could share his room again. Chi seems a little uncertain as to why he was moved, but I do think it is going to help both of them. Last night was the first night together again. Gabe slept like a log. Chi did wake up but not as much as he had been. So, hopefully it works. Now I have an extra room though. I am going to move my art supplies into there, but I don't have any furniture to spare, so it feels more like storage.

I have decided that people's problems with organization lie not in needing more space, but in having too much. I had that 900 sq. ft. apartment organized easily and well, but I can't seem to get things in place in my 1700 sq. ft. There is too much space for things to spread out in, then it starts to feel like there is no place to put things, but logically I know that isn't true. I am getting tired of losing things.

School doesn't start until Sept. 8 (after Labor Day), so Gabe is starting to drive me nuts. He is bouncing off the walls. We still don't know what his class is whether he is in am or pm. I should know by the end of the week. It would be nice to have that info so I can start deciding about schedules for Chi and I, things like library times or drop in kiddie gym times.

We are official Michiganites or Michiganders though. Here they don't make your license on the spot though, so we have temporary licenses while we wait on the real deal in the mail. Both cars have plates. The Beetle is always having drama, but I think Matt has everything in order to at least make it to school and back now. (Yesterday he lost a lug nut just around the corner and had to walk back to the house for tools.) And we are registered to vote. So things are getting settled. I think I am going to take the boys and check out the nature center today.

Dress form

Does anyone have a dressmaker form that they don't need? Stuffed in an attic or something? I need one, and I am happy to take it off your hands for a reasonable price.

Fear of change

It is so hard for me to watch the way fear grips this country. The way fear has gripped this country since Sept. 11, 2001. Most humans don't handle change well. We tend to like things the way we have them, and often don't want to know if it could be better because it is easier just to keep things the way they are. But often, life doesn't give us a choice. Change is inevitable.

After 9/11 this country came to be ruled by fear-mongering. It turned out to be so effective that once immediate threats were dispelled, it was too good of a tool to stop using. It has been most effectively wielded by the far right, though nobody is blameless.

Those who are using scare tactics to try to stop healthcare reform are only hurting us because the system is broken. It needs reform. If the right doesn't participate, it only weakens the nation because change will come anyway. There are serious questions and reasons for debate and by not rising to the occasion of thoughtful discourse, but just choosing ignorance and shouting outright lies, all in the name of protecting the status quo, it is hurting and turning away from the very spirit of this nation.

I believe that people who don't think the system is broken have never experienced anything other than employer based healthcare that is basically good, or have never had to test how good their insurance really is. Those of us who have had different experiences (and we are multiplying, those who have bad insurance are becoming the majority), have the ability to see how poorly the system functions. I have had good employer based insurance and bad, I have had Medicaid, I have had independently purchased insurance. I have lived with the fear that if any of us get sick, it would bankrupt us. 40 million live with that fear everyday because they can afford nothing. There aren't any numbers on the people who have insurance but know it won't cover enough if they get sick. It is too much. This has to be fixed. We have a moral obligation to fix this problem. Not giving people the basic right to health care is far more expensive to a society than not. People are given access to police and fire departments because those things are necessary for a society to function. Healthcare is on the same level. It is time to start thinking of it in that light.

It is a misnomer that we are the wealthiest nation with the best healthcare. We are the wealthiest nation, but that implies many have access to that wealth. It isn't true. We also have some of the best doctors, schools, technology and research, but is merely pretending to believe that we have equal access to that. We say we do, but do nothing in practice to fight for that. And actually, we are in fact not the best when it comes to healthcare. We are sicker and have shorter lifespans than other nations. What we have is not the best. Let's face that reality because once we do, we have the ability to make it the best. We cannot continue with this head-in-the-sand attitude.

I don't think we are going to come up with a new system that will make everyone happy, but we have a responsibility to err on the side of doing the most good for the most people. And if all views are not discoursing, then we are at the table with one hand already tied behind our backs. And this is not socialism in some nasty dirty connotation of the word. It is in the very spirit of this nation who through it's history has always had the practice of taking care of people, of doctors who aid all who come to their care regardless of ability to pay, who nursed their neighbors because they were neighbors. Throughout our history, there are countless examples of a socialistic attitude, not the communist ideas of everyone having the same as everyone else, but of the idea that everyone does according to their ability to each according to their need. For those of you who are Christian, this is at the very heart of Christianity. You can't escape this whether you read the Old or New Testament.

Liberate yourself from fear. Do not be the one to choose ignorance over knowledge. Do not turn a blind eye to your neighbor. We have seen so much change in such a short time, and some people are reeling. Some don't even want to accept the world as it is. But we have real problems that need real solutions. "Here in America we are descended in blood and spirit from revolutionaries and rebels -- men and women who dared to dissent from accepted doctrine. As their heirs, may we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion. " Dwight Eisnehower.

Still here, and in Michigan now

Well, this certainly has been a long hiatus. After we moved, we didn't have internet for awhile. The move has been a bit of a roller coaster. We have had several problems with the house, in fact, it seems like everytime we were done dealing with one problem, there would be a new one. Right after we got here we discovered that the tub that supposedly just needed a good cleaning was actually rusting, so the boys couldn't take baths. They finally agreed to fix it and put in a new tub, and as happy as that makes us, it's been a long week with the builders in and out and not being able to use that bathroom. It should be done this afternoon.

Other than issues with the house, overall we are happy with where we are living. It's nice having a back yard, the neighborhood is really nice, and next door are two little boys for Gabe to play with. Gabe is registered for school. Matt is preparing himself for the upcoming semester. They are both nervous and excited.

Chi seems to be going through a growth spurt. He keeps falling down and biting his tongue. I hope that stops soon, poor thing. He's also getting teeth and so nights have not been much fun the past week. He still doesn't talk, but he manages to communicate. He's also starting to approxtimate some words, so I think he will decide to talk soon. He seems to have trouble with "o" sounds, which is weird to me, but it is funny because he tries to sing "Old McDonald" and he says e-i-e-i and then waits for you to finish with the o for him.

I know, I know...

Sorry it's been awhile, but life has been a bit crazy. Things are under control, there is just a lot to fit in and I get tired. I'll try to be better after the move. Have patience.

Gabe told me yesterday that he no longer wanted to be a fireman when he grows up. I asked him what he did want to be. He said that he didn't know what you call it, but he wants to help people when he grows up. He thinks old people need help. Like if they need their lawn mowed, he would do it. Or taking old people to the grocery store to help them get around and find everything. He doesn't think old people want to drive every where themselves. I asked him what made him come up with this idea (thinking he'd seen or heard something somewhere) and he said he saw the people mowing the lawn at the apartment and he just thought old people need more help with that then the rest of us.

I was kind of amazed. It sort of sounds like hospice care. I am sure he will go through many phases by the time he grows up, but I couldn't help but be proud of his desire to help people who need it.

We are strange

Some of the weird ways our minds work:
Chi has been stuffy and therefore not sleeping well, so while putting on his pajamas I grabbed the Baby Vicks. Gabe said, "Can I help rub in the Vixen." We started giggling for different reasons. I had Santa's reindeer running through my head. Matt was thinking Chi certainly would enjoy being rubbed by a vixen in about 15 years.

Days later...
My throat was hurting (darn kids spreading around those germs!) and Matt offered to go get throat lozenges for me. "What kind do you want?" he asked. "I don't know. Ones that work," I replied. "What, do you mean like magic ones?" he mocked using jazz hands. "Yes, the ones with jazz hands." Conversation continues on as we make a list of other items needed. "Okay. Is that it? Do you want anything else?" Matt asks. "A baby elephant," I say (not sure why, so don't ask). Matt replies, "Hmm. Only if it's reasonable." "How can you tell? Are you going to ask it if it's reasonable?" So, list reads: lozenges with jazz hands, toothpaste, and a reasonable baby elephant.

Michigan bound

It took some time after we got back from our trip to be certain we would be able to rent the house we wanted. There were a couple of issues with it and the owner was on vacation, so we had to leave without being certain because we only felt one place had what we needed. So, happily, it was a successful trip. We still have to sign the lease and fax it back but that should all be fine. We also had toured the elementary school Gabe will be in and were happy with what we saw, so that is good.

We picked this house because of the location and the large fenced in back yard, mostly. We saw a few on busy streets and some without fences (one without a fence on a busy street) and that just wasn't the best situation for us.

At this point we are just feeling ready to go. I know I'll miss Ames, but since we know we are going it's hard to just sit around waiting. Matt is still doing some work in the lab, but it seems to be more like busy work than anything else.

Al the Watch Gator

This is Al. He's our watch gator (instead of watch dog). He kind of cracks me up when I walk by the boys' room at night and Al is standing guard. We actually use him because Gabe needs the door open a crack and the door won't stay that way. One night I discovered Al is the perfect doorstop and his personality has grown.

Note to self: be more clear

Gabe has been dying to go swimming, but ever since they filled the pool it's been cold and/or rainy. So today, while we were on a walk, I said, "Let's go stick a toe in the water and see if it's warm enough." (It was in the mid-seventies, warm enough for a kid, maybe for me, but a little windy, so I had to see if I could take it before I made promises.)

Now, I am fairly certain that once I opened the gate I said, "Stick your hand in." But as I was doing just that, I look up to see Gabe standing at the steps, one foot in, one foot out. "It's warm enough, Mommy!" He exclaims. My mouth must have been hanging open. He still had on his shoe and he was wearing long pants.

So, I've learned. Don't use an expression with a five year old unless you really mean it.

Growing pains

Wow, I'm tired. I was so excited that we had a weekend with nothing to do, but now I think I need a break from my break. The boys haven't been the easiest people to get along with lately. Gabe is Mr. Attitude lately. He has taken to bossing everyone around, including Matt and I, and no amount of being sent to his room is convincing him to stop. In all fairness, I know this is just his attempt to control things since school is almost ending and he is moving, but temper tantrums and bossiness is not going to be accepted. So, he's been a bundle of joy.

Chi is cutting teeth and almost constantly whiny. He's also waking up at night and it's been a struggle to get him to go to bed. But then he's still getting up at 5 am, which thankfully for me, is Matt's problem. But we are both exhausted. Matt from the night time stuff and me from the constant whine all day long.

There has actually been some funny stuff, but I'm too tired to remember what it was. :) Oh, well. They'll come up with other funny stuff to do, I'm sure.

Gabe has been doing really good on his new bike. He's getting the hang of things and building his confidence. He's also much more careful at road crossings than he normally is on foot which I find interesting (good, but interesting).

Dancing machine

Chi will stop what he's doing to dance whenever he hears any kind of music. Usually it's a "Get Physical" bent arm, twisting side to side motion. Today he had a hand rolling, not "wheels on the bus" but more of a "handjive" a la "Grease" thing going on. Hmm...come to think of it, maybe he just has a thing for Olivia Newton John. Gabe likes to dance too. He's been pulling out some break dance kind of moves. Sometimes you just gotta crank up the tunes and dance it out.

My reindeer flies sideways...

Well, graduation day is almost here. We've mostly been getting ready for the party. Matt has his robe and tam, mostly de-wrinkled now. So, while "Pomp and Circumstance" is played we will be able to sing along the little known words, "My reindeer flies sideways. Your reindeer flies upside down. My reindeer is better. Your reindeer is dead." (Go on, sing it to the music. It really fits.)

The party is going to have a Mexican seaside theme. Gabe wants a sandcastle birthday cake and it's easy to make Mexican food for a crowd, so it just kind of came together that way. Gabe and I made a fish piñata and I made some tissue paper flowers to make things festive. The cake is going to be built with several cut cakes and the sand is created by crushing Nilla wafers. I also got chocolate seashells to decorate it. I hope it comes out as well as I imagine it.

Gabe is having trouble with the idea that he'll be in a new school next year. He'd be in a new one anyway since he's in a private preschool and he'd be going to Kindergarten in the fall, but it's not really working to get him to see the logic. He is still sad that he won't be with his friends. I don't think he really wants to move again, but he knows we are looking at houses and to him that means he's one step closer to getting a dog. He was looking at pictures online with me and deciding where the dog could sleep in each house. It was funny. I figure what ever helps at this point. I know we won't get a dog until we settle in, but if thinking about the dog makes him feel better about the whole thing, then he can help pick the best house for a dog.

Chi is doing well. Growing I think. Either that or the kid just has no grace at all. :) He is falling all the time. But he also realized that we check that he's okay so when he's mad he'll fall down on purpose and look to see if that got our attention. He can be very ornrey that way.

Why Twitter and I don't go together

Twitter is all the rage, but I'm not buying in. It's not because I want to resist new technology, it's that I don't get it. My life is not that interesting. I have trouble writing this blog some weeks; what could I possibly tweet multiple times a day? Just got up. Or Thought about having Cheerios, but went with Frosted Flakes. Oh, yeah. That's riveting. And really, that about how exciting most tweets are.

Most people are not really interesting enough, but the problem is we think we are. It is really the most incredible exercise in narcissism ever. I wonder if any one ever cares what I write about on this blog, and here I am speaking to an audience of people who care about me (or they wouldn't be here). I just don't have the narcissistic chutzpah to believe twitter will make my life any more complete or that anyone will be better off knowing what I do all day long. I like to have some parts of my life private.

But that is another question. Why is there this obsession with privacy fences? Why are we so concerned with blocking out our real life neighbors, all the while putting our whole (boring) lives out there for literally anyone to read? I don't get it.

Michigan

Matt has finally submitted the thesis!! It is forever done, everything that had to be signed has been signed. He accepted a job as Assistant Professor at Saginaw Valley State University in Michigan. We will be moving this summer. Relief, joy, happiness, amazement, all being felt around here.

Growing...

The boys are growing up. Everyday they amaze me. Chi has no fear. He climbs up on anything and everything. He takes on life full force, and if he crashes and burns, he picks himself up and goes running again in that funny toddler way of running. I can't believe how aware and smart he is. He can do a shape shorter puzzle designed for two year olds. Sure we help him a little, but it's still impressive. He never seems to miss anything. I just wish he could talk in English so I could know what he was thinking.

Gabe can do things that just last fall he couldn't. I watch him climb and jump on the playground, and my stomach still lurches even though I know he has so much more control now. It's getting easier to watch him swing off the edge of something and land safely below or climb bars fast as a monkey. But as it gets easier to watch, I realize that even as I am getting what I want, I am losing a part of his childhood. It is hard to believe he will be off to Kindergarten next fall because it seems to have come so fast, even though I know he's more than ready.

And then there is the giggling. It's impossible not to enjoy life when they start giggling!

A Prayer by Archbishop Oscar Romero

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.

The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the Church’s mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.

Saw the Mississippi in Dubuque on the the Mississippi

It turns out that Gabe loves to say Mississippi. He said it every chance it made the slightest amount of sense. We had a good time on our little vacation. The main idea was to enjoy the water park, but we found the Mississippi River Museum to be a great addition to the trip.

When we got to Dubuque the first place we went was the museum because we were early for our hotel check-in. They had a great exhibit about how sand and other things get picked up in the rivers and carried down; Gabe was quite the expert after to listening to the explanation. Malachi loved the fish. He just kept running up and pointing and exclaiming in his wordless way.

They had a section where you could feel stuff, and each of the boys touched a crawfish. They also had a tank of sturegons that you could pet (and I say pet because they were very funny, like dogs trying to get a good petting). Gabe put his hand in the tank but got scared. I should say that you have to put your hand in and wait because they don't like sudden movements so it takes awhile before they'll come to you. And these were huge, sort of scary looking fish. I had trouble waiting too. But I tried again and was able to touch one...it was a big high. Conquering fear and all that. Chi would have gladly gotten in the tank, he was just pointing and splashing, but they stayed away from him...too much movement. Chi also wanted to pet the alligators, but they were behind glass.

We also got to tour an old steam boat; everyone enjoyed that. Gabe asked the guide a good question, so the guide helpfully pointed out all sorts of stuff to us even though it wasn't the guided tour time. I loved the captain's bed, the desks, the chairs, basically I was wishing I could furniture shop the boat.

The water park was a lot of fun. They had a tree house like structure with cargo nets and steps and slides and water shooting out of everywhere. Gabe had no fear with the water slides. I asked him the first time, "Do you want me to go with you?" He put his hand up, "No, mom. I can do it myself." They had a small kids pool which was good for Chi, but he loved the water raining down in the tree house part too even though he was too small to climb up it. It was definitely enough to wear them both out. Chi kept flirting with all the lifeguards, even the teenage boys were falling all over him. Every time we were near a lifeguard Chi would start trying to show off until they cooed over him. We are thinking of making him a shirt that says on the front I ♥Lifeguards and on the back And Lifeguards ♥Me.

We also had very nice weather, so we were able to walk on the riverwalk. We also walked into the historic downtown area for lunch one day, but we found the food overall to be a disappointment. But food aside, it was a great getaway!

Save the Date

I was planning to send out invititations next month, but for those who are out of town I want to be sure there is enough notice for reservations and such.

Matt's graduation is on Friday, May 8 at 8 pm. No tickets are required; this is just the Graduate School ceremony. On the following day, May 9, we are going to have an open house type party for Matt and also for Gabe's birthday.

The undergraduates have their graduation on that Saturday, so I don't know how difficult it would be to get reservations.

Ding-dong the vacuum's dead

On Saturday Gabe was helping to vacuum and the unlikeliest thing happened. The little lightbulb in the vacuum fell out and was sucked up, but it was too big and hard to suck up so it shattered as it was breaking the fan blade, thus ending the vacuums ability to, well, vacuum. Oh, and leaving behind tiny shards of glass. It sounded like something had crashed in our apartment. Gabe freaked out, Chi started crying. So, we had to borrow a neighbor's vacuum, and then we started shopping around. We finally bought a Bissel yesterday, mainly based on price. It seems okay. I think in a few years I'll upgrade, but we have two boys, we had to have something.

We get to have a vacation soon. On Monday we are headed for Dubuque so that we can go to the indoor water park. We will also visit the museum and aquarium. It is a short trip, but the change of pace will do us some good.

Chi is making new sounds and mimicking more. Today Gabe kept shouting "Out, baby!" when he was trying to build train tracks (which Chi always destroys in a Baby-zilla fashion) and Chi looked at him and said something that was awfully close to "Out!"

Week of firsts

I've been busy and will be busy for the foreseeable future. This week had me nervous though. I had my first mamogram. And I must say, no big deal! Why do women act like it's so awful and painful? It wasn't. I had a non-cancerous lump in my breast during pregnancy that has shrunk, so they wanted to see what was going on. Happy to report that everything is just fine.

Also, I had to report for jury duty for the first time. That was interesting. First, I wasn't called for the panel of 24 to be questioned (then the state and defense each strike 6 so that there is a jury of 12). But the judge had cause to dismiss a person and I was the next in line, so I wound up in the jury box. I was asked about my feelings on police officers. I have positive feelings thanks to the officers that helped at my car accident, so I wasn't completely surprised that I was struck. Actually, as interesting as I was finding the whole thing, the nature of the trial made me very relieved that I was ultimately dismissed. It was domestic abuse and the nature of the questions made me think it wasn't going to be something I wanted to be stuck thinking about. In any case, I have fulfilled my civic duty and can't be recalled by the state for two years.

Gabe is worn out. Due to my things, he's been bounced between Matt and I more than usual, he had a playdate, and they had a beach party day at preschool on Wednesday. They dressed in beach gear and played games and stuff. It must have worked in bringing the sunshine...today is gorgeous, sunny and 60! Chi is doing well, but nothing new or particularly exciting to report about him today. He is just his funny little self.

I can breathe!...almost...sigh

Darn those boys and their icky germs! Gabe, Chi and Matt all had a cold and just as they were getting healthy and I was beginning the happy dance because I was coming through this bout of illness unscathed, I got the cold. I literally couldn't breathe at all through my nose for a full 48 hours. We are talking fully pacted in sinuses here. It was terrible. So, now I am in recovery mode. Breathing working, mostly, but I probably have a couple more days until I am free and clear.

Chi had his first haircut. At first I resisted, but I was giving Matt and Gabe their haircuts and I already had the scissors out. Matt has been complaining about how long Chi's hair was getting (it was all curly and sticking out in the back), but it took me awhile to be ready for the first haircut, but it's done and I must say it looks better now that it's not all crazy. Okay, I'll admit it...Matt was right. There I said it. :)

I went with Gabe's class for the bowling field trip. It was Gabe's first time. Of course, there were bumpers up so no gutter balls. Gabe was loving it and he actually got two spares! His score was a 92.

Progress

Chi said his first word! "More." We have been trying forever to get him to say more when he hands over his juice cup because usually he just shoves it in our laps and whines and cries until we get up and get the juice. He was so excited when we were all praising him that he just continued saying "more" which really sounds like "mmmmoore" but it works.

Technically he may have said mama and dada already, but he won't use them clearly. Let me explain. The only time he has said dada to Matt was one night when he wouldn't sleep and Chi knew Matt was really frustrated. Chi grinned at him and very sweetly said, "Dada." But he's never had a repeat performance. When I am not there he will say "Mamama" and it seems pretty clear that he's looking for me, but he won't say it in my presence. When we actually try to get him to say either for us, he just laughs and laughs. So we are very excited about "more."

And on to a Gabe story. Gabe was complaining to Matt that he wanted Chi out of their room because Chi was just going to take everything out and make a mess. Matt said, "And how is that any different from what you always do?" Gabe responded, "You got me there." (He really did very matter of factly say that; no changes to make a better story. The kid is beyond his years sometimes.)

Bobo visited

There is a stuffed bear with a bag full of books and games that visits the kids in the preschool class, so Bobo was at our house this past week. It is kind of neat because he comes with a journal and every kid he visited drew pictures showing what they did with Bobo and the parents wrote in little explanation notes. Bobo's adventures with us included a trip to the library and playing trains with Gabe and Matt. Gabe also built him a bed with his Lincoln logs.

Both boys have stuffy noses, but Chi is much worse. His cough at night wasn't pleasant. He is a bit whiny, but for the most part he's just himself. Instead of hugs though I get lots of snot rubbed on me, which of course is nice. :)

Needed a change

I just wanted something brighter, at least for awhile, so yes, you are still at the right blog. Feel free to let me know what you think. I can always change back.

Matt is stressed about job hunting. He is waiting to hear if he gets an interview at John Carroll; they are supposed to have narrowed it down to three people to interview in the beginning of this week. There is really no help in calming him down, other than him hearing something from the search committee.

Gabe went to see "Seussical" today with his class and really liked it. When they went to "Goodnight Moon" last month he fell asleep because it was so dark and quite. This really cracks Matt up. This time he informed me that he stayed awake the whole time. He is coming home talking about the kids in his class, a few in particular, so he seems to be fitting in now. I am going to help with the Valentine Party this Friday, so I'll get to see for myself what the class is like.

Chi still doesn't talk, but he babbles all the time. It's almost like he's pretending to talk. I think he knows he isn't making real words because he doesn't expect us to understand, but he moves his mouth and tongue and makes all these complicated noises. He also enjoys yelling when no one else is talking, especially in church. It is nice that he fills that void. :)

Boy are they lucky this MOPS meeting wasn't my first; I may have run away very far and fast. First, it was just boring. They were rushing us through planned activities so there was no time to just sit and talk. But the part that would have made me run was the special advertising segment. A woman came to try to get us involved in a new program called Apples of Gold. First of all, dumb name. The idea started out okay: a women mentoring group like quilt circles of old, a chance to get together and pass on wisdom, yada, yada, yada. A big part of this was going to be about teaching us to cook because apparently young women today just can't cook (excuse me?!) and we need to be taught to put that love into the meals we serve our families. The best part though is the Bible study that is going to teach us all about submitting to our husbands and serving our kids. Yeah, right. Oh, and then there is a celebration dinner where our husbands get to come and a male leader will take them aside and tell them all that we women learned. Matt loved that. He wants to do it just so he can mess with the other men's minds during that meeting. Ugh! Why? Can you tell I'm annoyed?

In all fairness, it's not a program that is related to MOPS itself, but the fact that they would be invited to pitch the program and so many woment there thought it was great kind of freaked me out a bit. On a happier note, it just occurred to me the other day that I can actually sign up for classes on Wednesdays now. I don't have to be at work, so I am going to take belly dancing. It doesn't start until the end of March though, but it will definitely be more fun excersing that way than the gym.

Theology of a four year old

We were sitting in the drive thru at DQ and Matt said he thought the sign was advertising a 14 pound burger (I assume it was 1/4 pound burger, but I never saw it). Gabe at first didn't understand what was wrong with a 14 pound burger, so Matt explained how big that would be. So Matt said, "So, I could never eat a burger that big." And Gabe replied, "No, that would be too big." Silence, then, "But Jesus probably could."

Can't think of anything funny, but...

Gabe has been doing somewhat better. We are just applying consistency with timeouts, when he goes ballistic he goes straight into the shower, and I also make sure that I carve out time for just the two of us when Chi is taking a nap. It's not that he never talks back or throws fits, but they have been managable.

We did take Chi's one year pictures. We like so many that we are having trouble narrowing it down, but we will soon have prints made. He has a third tooth! And a fourth that is almost through. Because of that he hasn't slept really well this week and he's been clingy, but that will all pass I'm sure.

Matt is enjoying his work. I guess the project he took over has already done more in this last month than it had in at least a year. So the people he's supposed to work with on it are really happy about that.

I have things finally organized. Now that that is done, I am hoping to do a little more drawing or even painting. It's a bit hard to do because of the boys, but now that things have a place, it will be easier to take things out in the evening and put them away again. Other than that, I have been working out every other night. Our complex has a fitness center and I am enjoying it overall. I sometimes find the treadmill kind of boring, but I feel good for having gone.

New Pledge of Allegiance

Gabe's job at preschool this week is to raise the flag. We asked him if he is learning the Pledge of Allegiance, and he said yes. Here's how he started out: "I pledge allegience to the flag of the United States of America, and to the repulicans..."

Here's the scoop

I am now a MOPS mommy. I wasn't sure about it, but a friend invited me to try it out and it was actually nice. It falls right during school for Gabe so I can drop him off and not worry about him and they have childcare for Malachi and he loved it. A whole morning to hang out with other women...it was nice. Malachi enjoys being out places, so we have also added to our schedule library story time and Play Pals which is just a bunch of outdoor type toys set up in the gym at the rec center for preschool age kids to play with. It's nice during the winter.

Yesterday the boys were playing with their stash of Mardi Gras-type beads and Gabe told me to pick one. I selected the green one. He stood back and looked at me and said, "No, you need the pink one. It's more fashioner." (He meant fashionable.) I wore my fashioner pink beads for most of the day, even in public, but unfortunately they are cheap and I accidentally broke it. Oops.

Gabe's tantrums have hit an all time low (high? whatever...I mean they are frequent and worse than ever). We are trying everything we know, but we have no idea what is triggering it. He is all settled in to the apartment, has all his stuff. He likes school and is making friends; we have talked to his teachers to be sure he is fitting in and with the kids, not off by himself. We are just very confused right now. We have even considered trying martial arts since it is supposed to teach courtesy, self-control, etc. but the only place that teaches 4 year olds focuses on having fun. I want him to enjoy it, but I don't want a kid who hasn't learned to focus and control himself, but now knows how to really punch or kick. We are open to suggestions. We looked into therapy, but we can't afford it. It just has to stop because Chi is picking up on it. Plus, he's such a great kid when he's not acting up. I want to enjoy him without worrying about when the next explosion is coming.

The boys

Yesterday Gabe came twirling through the living room and said, "Albus Dumbledore." I have no idea why, but it was great. Random and completely funny. Unfortunately, this week Gabe didn't have much school; three out of five were cancelled due to the weather. He was supposed to bring snack one of those days that was cancelled and he was so sad that he couldn't bring snack. Luckily, one of the other parents was happy to give up their snack day so Gabe can bring it on Monday. He took a lot of time to figure out what to bring and finally settled on applesauce, graham crackers (Scooby snacks, specifically), and milk. Only problem was I like the Scooby snacks too, so when I thought he'd just missed out on snack day, I opened the box, so then we had to go get another box.

It is amazing how much he learned in two days though. It was "Snake Week" and man did he learn every basic fact about snakes. It helps that they got to see and touch a real one. Someone who brings snakes around for education came to the school on Wednesday. Gabe will talk forever about all he learned. He used to just be afraid of snakes, but I don't think he is anymore. When he talks about how snakes don't blink he says they just hold their eyes open like this, and then he open his eyes very wide and tries very hard not to blink for as long as he can.

Malachi doesn't like it when Daddy leaves. He has taken to go and standing in front of the door when Matt puts his coat on, like he's trying to block him in. We have been letting him try using a spoon. A lot gets everywhere but his mouth, but he's doing really good. Two days ago most of the applesauce must have made it into his mouth because there wasn't any spilled, just some smeared on his face and arms.

He had his one year check up and he is doing just fine. Healthy. He has two teeth now. Poor little guy had to have four vaccination shots and then a finger poke to draw blood. They check the hemoglobin and for lead exposure. We haven't had the results of that yet, but I'm not worried.

The funny thing that Chi does is that he will randomly run through the room with his arms above his head, roaring. It's like he's in attack mode. But most of the time he ends it by running up to us for a hug.

Hugs are great. One of the best parts of parenthood.

This, then that

What a week. We got into our new apartment on Saturday and Jeff came to help us get stuff moved in. But then freezing rain hit and we had to stop, before we got our bed moved, so Matt and I are still on an air mattress. The boys have beds and we have living room furniture, dining table and chairs and enough kitchen stuff to cook. A friend offered to help this weekend, so we should get the rest of the big furniture soon.

Gabe was supposed to start school on Monday, but schools were delayed due to weather which cancels morning preschool. So we had to deal with first day jitters two days in a row. He seemed to really like it the first day, but then Wednesday was a bad day. He feels that two kids were making fun of him, but he may have just been overly sensitive when they were telling him the rules. So, then he spent three hours this morning trying to get out of going to school. Today was a better day though. It will take time to fit in since these kids have been together since the beginning of the school year, but I honestly didn't think it would be so hard in preschool. I do have concern as to whether or not the teachers are helping him fit in or not, but they addressed some of our concerns today so we will have to see how it goes. He also needs to learn that in a group of people, you won't necessarily like or get along well with everyone. He needs to learn how to deal with that.

Then Wednesday, Matt comes home to inform me that he lost his job. He had no idea what happened, he just got an email informing him that ISU refused his employment. Well, it turns out that bureaucracy reared its ugly head. Someone checked the wrong box on a form and that meant he wasn't eligible for the job, so they redid the paperwork, this time checking the right box and viola! he still has a job.

Seriously! Could anything just go smoothly for us?

Chi is one tomorrow! We are gearing up to celebrate. Gabe is going to help make his cake, and mom got him a Birthday Boy outfit to wear. So the week of ups and downs should end up.