Trouble with faith

Over the years, I have had lots of concerns about what is going on with Christianity. Recently, some one misinterpreted what I said, not maliciously, but bent it into a narrative that they had already developed. This is not a response to that person, but just an attempt to explain why it is so hard to deal with these issues, no matter how you try to go about it.

It bothers me when people try to disguise their message by not admitting who they are. "Conservative Evangelicals" as there is now no other name because rather than confront why some people shy away from the types of denominations these churches sprang from, they called themselves "nondenominational." This makes it sound nice; like there is room for everyone. But their real motive was to drive a particular message, without regard to what the Holy Spirit may be moving in another person. Fit into the narrative or be condemned is where the outcome wound up going. Maybe it wasn't by intention. If you know there is something about your message that pushes people away from God, maybe the problem is your understanding of God's message and the way we are called to witness. 

To confuse matters, you can't just say all nondenominationals are conservatives because springing out of that mess is the emergent evangelical movement. Emergents focus more on God's grace and love. In some areas they don't go as far as more progressive denominations, but they are getting closer and closer. The conservative evangelicals call the emergent evangelicals heretics. Yeah. Really.

My first brush in life with conservative evangelicals (CEs from now on, my own abbreviation, no one else will know what you mean) was in college. I was walking alone across campus on a Saturday morning. All of a sudden a group of people with high tech camera equipment descend on me and yelled, "Do you know who Jesus is?!" It was morning and I'm a smart ass so I replied, "Yeah, I might have heard of him," and kept walking. They kept blocking my path (I'm not a morning person so this was really ticking me off.) "Don't you know who Jesus is?" They pushed again. The tone was really condescending which is part of the reason I have never forgotten this encounter. I responded with the usually litany about who Jesus is and confirmed I believed. Without knowing me at all, they assumed I was not Christian. That always bothered me. Why would you open a conversation that way? Why would you spend your whole life assuming you knew more than those around you? They asked a series of questions, feeling more like an Inquisition than anything else. Get these right or we won't let you leave! it seemed. Finally they wanted to know how I witness the gospel. "Through actions and love and not by attacking people with video equipment. Good-bye." And I pushed my way out of the little circle and went on my way. 

I have so many problems with this. CEs have all these Biblical arguments for acting the way that they act. Unfortunately it is all utterly simplistic and formulaic. Do this. Say this. Believe this and presto - you are saved. It's a heck of a lot of me needing to do something in order that God will then do something. And while I think this is totally off base, the truth is it is wicked easy! I get to have control over the whole process. Woo hoo. It doesn't demand an critical thinking or moral reasoning skills at all. So, I get why this is so appealing to American Christians. We are, after all, lazy thinkers.

The trouble is, God makes it clear (if you read cover to cover, story to story and not just pick random verses from the Bible) that you can't do any of it yourself. You can't make a decision. You can't do good works. You can't save souls. We can't find a way to go up to God, God always comes down to us. God does it all through grace and nothing I can do will change that. The Bible even points out that the ability to have faith in the first place is a gift of God. I can't "decide" to have faith. This is why I am not going to judge God's plans. I don't know what happens when we die, but I doubt I am "saved" and Gandhi is not. If that's the way God works, I think I'd have to tell God to let me trade places with Gandhi because he deserves heaven more than I do. But CEs limit God. Gandhi didn't believe in Jesus, so too bad for him, done deal. Really? He lived a life that was the epitome of what Jesus called for but some would claim he knew nothing of God. It's ridiculous. It requires effort to not think to believe that.


Religious thinkers (and lay people) used to understand that the Bible was simply a tool for learning about God and having a greater understanding of how we should attempt to live our lives. No one ever thought the thing was literal. Every single reading of the Bible is an interpretation. And the Bible itself intentionally holds interpretations because there is not supposed to be one simple, formulaic answer. And that's what the CEs don't get. But they also put up walls, calling anyone who puts care and love above dogmatic rule, heretics. It is exactly why most people believe all Christians are highly judgmental. It's why there is so much religious strife. They are so convinced they are "right" they don't need to hear from anyone else. And if we used our own moral reasoning skills (which I think are God-given in the first place) CEs may be overly concerned about getting something wrong. Gasp. The horror. As if trying to be overly extreme on Biblical teaching hasn't lead to wrong thinking either. I was actually once told that it takes more faith to see all the scientific evidence of when and how the earth has developed and the life on the earth has developed and still take Genesis literally. I don't think so. I think it takes more faith to realize we don't get to have all the answers neatly summed up and still believe there is a higher power. Because if Genesis isn't true, that persons faith pulls apart at the seams. Mine doesn't. That person cannot engage with anyone who presents differing views because they cannot handle questioning their faith. It tends to lead to attacks on people.


I think we only get it completely wrong when we don't think or engage, when we think God is easy or simple to understand, and worst of all, when we harness God for our own objectives. Religion should be what sets you free, free of your fears and shortcomings, to do what God needs done on earth - the free and unconditional expression of love. Being a voice for the voiceless. Standing with the outcast. Caring for the forgotten. If your religion is based on strict dogmatic thinking as the point, then that religion has already failed in its purpose. Even the Pharisees eventually got it right. (You won't find it in the Bible. They held to dogmatic thinking above all else and Jesus said they were wrong. But I recently learned about their history after the fall of the temple. They actually became protectors of the same message Jesus preached. Though, not of his divinity, they remained Jews.) Right thinking or even right living isn't the point. Care of others, thinking beyond yourself, is more of the point. Of course, I could be wrong... but I'm okay with that.